Questions and Answers:
My cat is in heat, and I read around that only way to shut her up is to please her with a Q-Tip. I don't think I'm ready to go to the next level with my cat just yet.
Ah, yes. To please your significant other with toiletries is a huge step. I remember doing it the first time with a roll of deodorant. I would talk to her. Make sure she knows that you love her, but you feel that toiletries would be far too much for you right now. If necessary, make up some story of a traumatizing story with ear wax. Make sure she knows, however, that you're more than willing to have sexual intercourse with her. That will make you feel so much better. After a while, toiletries will not seem like such a big step. You'll have had sex with her and a Q-Tip or towel bar will be suitable. Give it time.
Wait a minute, "cat" is some sort of pet name or metaphor, right? You're not really trying to stick a Q-Tip up a feline are you, sicko? Dear god, if you're trying to stick cotton up a cat, you have more problems than you think.
